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"What the fuck do you think I'm doing Eric, I'm masturbating," a puzzled look came across my face as she said this."Oh my god, don't you know what masturbating is, we'll surely you must do, I mean just look at your cock, you must have surely wondered why it does that?"I continued to look bemused at her, wondering what she was on about. "Wow, well you had best take a seat" she said, gesturing to the swivel chair next to her desk. Unsure of what to do I sat down in the chair and she pulled the chair close to her bed, so that I was just in front of her."So ... where to begin, masturbating is like sex, except you do it on your own, here do what I say, first spread your legs." So following her instructions I spread them."Now I'm going to show you how to do this once, but for future reference, you do the same thing, but you use your own hand." As she said this, she reached out, took my hard cock in her hand and began to pull it up and down my cock, slowly at first, but picking up speed with. That was eye-widening. There is a lot of silliness, crudity and plain stupidity out there marketing itself as ‘BDSM.’ Most of it is just fantasy material for horny boys and lonely girls. Some of the personal blogs, though, are quite helpful (I can give you a list if you like). They offer intelligent observations about how the sex is just part of the knowing yourself, and the knowing yourself is just part of something much bigger–your life and the life of your partner. Discovering submission can be life-transforming (it certainly was for us), but it doesn’t, and shouldn’t, displace all the other things in your life, which remain just as valuable as they ever were. (And if you don’t have those other things, submission alone isn’t going to compensate for them.) On the contrary, improving your relationship (and, in my case, personality) should make all that other stuff work better than it did before. That’s a pretty good check on how well you’re doing as a submissive (or as a dominant):.
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